Yuk Ying Chu, a wife, mother, grandmother, great grandmother, sister & aunt.
Born in 1927 in a rural village in the district of Sun Wui, in the province of Guong Dong, China she grew up as one of 8 siblings.
At the age of 18 her parents arranged a marriage for her to my father Sar Yin Chu from the neighbouring village of Goose Brook (Gnor Kai).
As a young bride my mother had few skills, she was a naïve country girl that did not even know how to cook rice, my father did all the cooking initially after they were married. In less than a year she gave birth to my eldest sister Mae and then 3 years later my 2nd sister Jenny was born.
Those were uncertain times, they fled from the Sino Japanese War and then Communist Regime to Hong Kong then finally to Canada.
When in Hong Kong, my mother still had pig tails but my Father wanted a modern wife, while she was sleeping he cut off one of her pig tails to force her to cut her other pig tail off and adopt a new short modern hair style. Not sure that would go over well today.
My father came to Canada and worked on the Toronto-Chicago Railway run, after making enough money he brought my mother, 2 sisters and my grandparents to Toronto in June of 1955, 2 months later I was born, 16 months later she had Henry the one and only son, then Irene and Mable.
With no English in a strange new Country she raised 6 children, worked in our family Laundry, bought and sold real estate, ran a rooming house and was almost as a single mother as my father was out of town 5 days a week working at his restaurant in Bradford.
My mother only had the equivalent of a grade 4 formal education but she was smart, resourceful, fashionable and creative. She could fix washing machines, paint rooms, butcher live chickens, cook, sew, amortize mortgages, manage tenants and properties including a 21unit apartment building on Weston Road.
Mom was a great cook, hosting her friends to make sweet and savoury sticky rice packets for special occasions, her’s were the most coveted, more tasty and fluffy than her friends. She made wonderful Chinese food for us as children, dinner was usually 4 or 5 courses, melon soup, stir fried beef with snow peas, thousand year egg custard and butterfly shrimp, just a few dishes I remember. We did not know how lucky we were that everything was made from scratch and delicious.
Unfortunately Mom learned about Shake and Bake and once or twice a week we would have Shake and Bake chicken wings and or Shake and Bake porkchops. She thought western cooking was so easy, all she had to do was shake the meat in a bag with the spice and bake, so much less work!
Mom was an amazing seamstress she made coordinating dresses for herself and her 5 daughters for many special occasions including my grandfather’s 70th and 80th birthdays, wedding gowns and bridemaids dresses for both my sisters Mae and Jenny’s weddings. We always had the best clothes for school she could copy and make dresses from any magazine picture we choose and on limited budgets.
My mother loved Bling she was a regular customer at Chinatown jewellery shops buying and trading pieces of gold and jade jewellery almost on a weekly basis. She loved sequins and clothes with bold patterns and a lot of colour as well as hats and big sunglasses. Not sure how “I”, her daughter turned out liking plain and monochrome attire.
She was an avid reader, I remember stacks of Chinese paper books that I think may have been the equivalent of Harlequin Romance novels. When she first came to Canada my grandmother forbade her to learn English but I know she must of learned some by watching television. She would sometimes use an occasional English word with us but we would often catch her speaking English on the phone with my brother-in-law Hank when she thought we weren’t listening.
Mom had a great sense of humour, one day I was wearing an orange outfit on an outing with her and I commented that her dress she had on was too bright and loud and she retorted in English “you look like pumpkin” – then laughed putting me in my place fast. On my husband John’s 65th birthday she thought she was so clever by giving him a gift of Senior Citizen TTC tickets and had great fun teasing him becoming a Senior Citizen.
My mother was a modern liberal thinking woman for her generation, unfortunately in the first half of her life she was caught between two cultures and old traditions, her mother-in-law could not accept my sister Mae marrying a Gwai Low a “white man” and forced my father to disown his first born daughter but my mother went to their wedding without my father’s permission. It wasn’t until their first grandchild Elaine was born my father had a change of heart.
If mom had more education and learned English I am sure she would have gone far. My father did not allow his wife to have a job but she volunteered at Stephen’s Community Centre helping organize outings for seniors and had an incredible work ethic that I don’t think she really thought about. I guess we all inherited that trait from her.
As a mother she was tough, all she had to do was give us a look and we knew not to challenge or cross mom. Her children were everything to her and there was no question we had to do our best at school and do well in our careers. Mom was brave and fearless, evicting a big burly tenant and his St Bernard by waving a broom at him or fending off a stalker that followed me home one day.
Mom loved to try new things she would be the first one to jump on a horse on our vacations or take a ride on a motorcycle, pools and oceans were another story cold water was not her strong suit.
As an Aunt she was kind and generous sponsoring and housing 3 of her nephews from China, Wah Sing, Raymond and Kwok Leung, becoming a 2nd mother to them, helping them get on their feet in Canada.
Forward thinking my mother seized the opportunity to get in on the ground floor and bought a condo pre-construction at a great price in Chinatown so she would be able to be independent and live on one level. In her later years my mom’s mobility declined and living on one level was as godsend. She adopted a walker with vigour and most times scooted around faster than I could walk to her favorite stores and restaurants.
Mother survived my father by 13 years, predeceased by my 2 elder sisters Mae and Jenny, her younger sister and most of her contemporary’s.
A few months shy of 95 she has left a proud legacy of 6 children, 11 grandchildren, and 5 great grandchildren.
Mom you are our Heroine, you gave us a better life and we became who we are today because of your love, work and sacrifices. I am sure you will be looking down and watching over us with Dad. You will forever be in our hearts and minds. we love you.
