A special tribute from your loving daughter-in-laws Izabella and Chanel
Izabella:
We are honored to share some of our memories and thoughts about this wonderful woman who touched so many lives with her kindness, generosity and joy.
Not only was mom a loving wife, mother, grandmother and friend, but more importantly to both Chanel and I, she was a wonderful mother-in-law, immediately welcoming BOTH of us so warmly into her into her home with open arms. I have to add that I was always her favourite daughter in law, until Chanel came along ; ) As you may notice, Chanel and I both now refer to her fondly as “mom” too. She was also my mother in Toronto, as my own mother lives in Vancouver.
Chanel:
As I’m sure you can all attest to; mom always gave the best greetings. I’ll forever cherish my first memory of mom-It was Christmas Eve 2010 and I was set to meet Shawn’s parents for the first time at Hazel and Jude’s annual Christmas Eve party. I can still picture mom walking through the archway at Hazels to greet us with a big smile and open arms, all my nerves disappeared and at that moment I knew that Shawn was a keeper, and that I would be scoring an amazing mother-in-law. Her greetings remained just as warm over the years, often asking Izabella and I how our parents and siblings were and passing along her best wishes to them. More recently, her greetings also included telling us how much she liked her new bright turquoise cane that the siblings had gotten her and proudly showing it off.
It’s often been said that men marry their mothers. In the case of Garin and Shawn, I think this one rings true. Many of mom’s amazing qualities are evident in the women her sons married; strong-willed, feisty, social, great dancers 😉, and an eye for bright coloured fashion. It’s no wonder her sons ended up with us and, luckily for Izabella and I, we ended up with a great mentor who beautifully embodied those qualities and so many more.
Izabella:
Speaking of strong willed and feisty women, at one of the early family dinners at the Jeffers residence in Richmond Hill, it was quickly apparent to me that mom and Marva were strong women who prided themselves with being independent women. There was no shame in this household with carrying oneself as a strong opinionated woman, in fact, it was valued! Some of the current event debates at that dinner table demonstrated this to me, but as this is a PG family event, these debates will remain private ; )
But, I must share one story that stands out to me as I was getting to know mom and dad. Typically during a Sunday Jeffers’ dinner, we pass the food around the table and everyone serves themselves, but for some reason, on this Sunday, I offered to serve Garin’s food directly onto his plate, rather than pass the food to him, as it just seemed convenient in that particular moment. At that time, I do vividly recall that I was newly engaged to him. Why is that relevant you may ask?
Well...mom immediately intercepted and said, “Oh no, please don’t serve him, he should be serving you as you will be his wife.” And in that very moment, I appreciated and fell in love with my feminist, soon to be mother in law. I felt so respected and so welcomed into this family just from this funny little scenario! I know without a doubt, that Auntie Marva will help carry this legacy, along with Auntie Chanel to help me raise Ariana to also become, a strong independent woman that Grandma would wish her to be! And without a doubt, we hope that Aiden and Tristan are all surrounded by strong, smart, successful and independent women, and never feel threatened by this! Mom has proudly taught us ALL to expect this, so why should we settle for any less? So, thank you to both mom and grandma for this priceless lesson!
Chanel:
Her love for her family was boundless, and she had a special place in her heart for her grandchildren Aiden, who is 10, Ariana, her little replica, who is 8, and little Tristan who turned the BIG one year old milestone, just last week.
During my pregnancy, mom shared many stories about her challenging yet rewarding time as a district midwife and even offered to show me her old nursing books with pictures of the delivery process, which I politely declined, telling her I would rather be blissfully unaware of what my body was about to go through. Once Tristan was born mom was so supportive, marveling when he would hit a developmental milestone and would often comment “this boy is so strong!”.
Izabella:
She was a woman who touched the lives of so many with her kindness, her compassion and her love. She had a passion for dancing and music that brought joy to all who knew her. Her love of dancing has been passed down to her grandchildren who now enjoy dancing on stage, while grandma so proudly watched and cheered them on. Thankfully, with the pandemic moving on she has been able to see their recitals in the last two years, and even proudly attended one of Ariana’s dance competitions as recently as a month ago. I guess we know who Ariana got her talent from.
As a nurse, she dedicated her career to caring for others. She was always looking out for everyone, making sure that they were taken care of. She was also very safety oriented, often quite perplexed, and worried, whenever Ariana practiced her acrobatic moves around the house, or when the kids tried to climb her trees in the backyard, making them giggle as they loved climbing higher when she noticed, thus egging her on! One time, the kids even cheekily reminded grandma that she has told them numerous times that she herself has climbed coconut trees in Nevis, thus she should allow them to climb her tree in Richmond Hill. To this day, the kids still ask me if that is true, especially when they saw the actual height of a “real live” coconut tree on a recent vacation.
Chanel:
In the years after dads passing, we would occasionally bring up to mom the idea of getting a pet, she would reply with resounding protest and inform us that the cats she grew up with in Nevis were “not pets”. Unfortunately for mom, as luck would have it, our late cat Loko did not agree with her and inevitably would end up cuddling into mom's lap when she visited. Honing in specifically on her as his favourite human of the day. Of course, we jumped at the chance to take some photos of their moments together (which you’ve probably seen in the slideshow). Although mom would never admit it, I think she enjoyed his cuddles as much as he enjoyed hers.
Perhaps fittingly, it was also at Hazel's place that mom and I had what turned out to be our last conversation before her passing. My last memory of her is equally special as my first and thirteen years of memories in between. In our final conversation, she told me to always make sure that I keep Tristan warm and she spoke of dad being gone and missing him. It’s my hope that they are reunited and happily looking down on the friends and family their lives and love have brought together. Mom’s legacy will live on in the eyes of her children and grandchildren. It will live on in the Rose of Sharon that she was so proud of and generously shared with so many of us over the years (and cheekily recounted the origin of how her very first Rose of Sharon was picked by her from a city garden on Hamilton Mountain while visiting Marva at university). And, of course, her legacy lives on through the memories and stories that we all have of her.
Izabella:
Her love and support will be missed by all who knew her. But even in our sadness, we can find comfort in the memories we shared with her. We can remember her laughter, that twinkle in her eye when she smiled, and the way she made us feel. So, please let us take a moment to remember her, to celebrate her life and to give thanks for the time we had with her.
A mother’s love is always with her children. Losing a mother is one of the deepest sorrows a heart can know. But her goodness, her caring, and her wisdom live on like a legacy of love that will always be with you. Marva, Garin, and Shawn, may that love surround you now and bring you peace. We know mom is dancing with dad now, watching over us and her three grandkids.
Mom, (grandma), your kids and grandkids love you and we miss you terribly.
Chanel and I know that this party loving grandma will want us to share some stories, and laughter. So please don’t hesitate to share your fondest and funniest memories with us! It’s ok to bring some joy and put a smile on Garin, Shawn, and Marva’s faces during such an emotional time. Let’s please not forget that Grandma always loved a good laugh and a good party!
Thank you to all for helping us honor her memory.
