In Loving Memory of Our Mother : A Bitter-Sweet Life
Our dear mother, Mrs. CHUN FUNG NG-KWAN, was from Fenggangli Village, Lougangxu Town, Kaiping County, Guangdong Province, China. Mother was born on November 17, 1937. She was brave, upright and compassionate. She experienced wars and political turmoil, moved from country to country. Her life could be described as moving "from sweetness to bitterness, but eventually, the bitterness turned into peace and amazing grace".
My mother was born and spent her childhood in the countryside of Kaiping in China. Grandpa was an honest and hardworking man, and Grandma a witty and capable woman. There were eight children in the family, and my mother was the fourth child. The relationships among the siblings were harmonious. My mother's family was affluent so she had the chance to finish primary education at the town's “Yuying School”. Mother took up the duties of caring for her family especially her younger siblings. Every day after school, Mother would work in the rice field and do housework. Despite the many years that had passed since that time, my mother still had fond memories of life in the countryside. She regarded that as the happiest time of her life.
In 1949, Grandpa arranged for his family to move to Canada via Hong Kong one after another. In 1953, Mother, still a teenager, left her hometown alone, and took an overnight ferry to Guangzhou. After staying in Guangzhou for a year, Mother was allowed to go to Hong Kong to reunite with her family. My mother had to face many difficulties alone at a young age, which made her character strong and independent.
Not long after Mother moved to Hong Kong, her parents arranged for her to marry my father. Life was tough after marriage. They lived in a crowded, partitioned rental room in a poor district in Hong Kong. Father worked in a factory, and Mother did handiwork at home to help make ends meet. Father and Mother had two sons - Steve and Tak, and two daughters - Louisa and Tracy. When Mother was pregnant with Steve, her second child, Father had an affair. He moved out. He financially supported the family, and would occasionally spend time with us children. Father's betrayal and abandonment dealt a huge blow to Mother. In the conservative Chinese society at that time, Mother felt stigmatized by her husband's infidelity so she didn't seek outside help. With her children's welfare in mind, she gritted her teeth and endured. Mother lived a frugal life. With Father's monthly payment for the family and Mother's small earnings from sewing clothes for others, our family of five managed to get by.
In 1981, Mother immigrated to Canada with her children, hoping that this would give them a better future. After immigrating, Father stopped sending money so Mother started to work. She worked in a leather factory ironing clothes for more than 10 years. Every morning before dawn, she took the bus to work, rain or shine. At work, Mother liked to sing hymns while ironing. She worked hard and was passionate. Although she did not know English, she was well liked by her supervisor and colleagues. Everyone in the factory affectionately called her "Mommy".
The journey of immigration is full of hardship. My mother recalled that she was depressed when she had first arrived in Canada. Her husband had abandoned her again, and she had to start over in a new environment, with a language and culture she did not know. She found it difficult to adapt. But she was determined to stay for her children’s future. Thankfully, with the support of relatives and her faith, Mother overcame these difficulties. She was a devout Christian who read the Bible and attended church regularly. She experienced God's love and care for her. She trusted that as long as she relied on Him in everything, she would have the strength to live every day.
Father later immigrated to the United States and became divorced again in his later years. He suffered two strokes and had to live in a nursing home. After hearing about Father's condition, Mother flew to visit Father with her son Tak. By then, Mother and Father had not met for 20 years. Mother saw a haggard, bedridden old man before her. She felt no resentment, only sadness. During her visit, Father said to Mother: "Ah Fung, I am sorry." Mother had waited for this apology for most of her life. Seeing that Father was approaching life's end, she felt the long-term grievances between the two of them disappear. On November 16, 2009, my father passed away.
Having lived in Canada for forty years, my mother had fully adapted to it. She liked Canada's leisurely life and comprehensive social welfare. She also enjoyed traveling, and was blessed to be able to travel extensively across Canada and different parts of the world, from Mainland China and Taiwan to the U.S., Europe, the Middle East and her favourite destination, Jerusalem (twice!).
Looking back on her life, Mother’s feelings changed – when she thought about her marriage, she no longer felt ashamed but relieved; and towards her husband, she no longer felt hatred, but forgiveness. Towards her children, Mother was selfless and loving. She had done the most she could to bring us up. Towards God, Mother's love and trust were pure and firm. When it came to money, Mother no longer worried but trusted in God. She had personally experienced that in all situations, she had never been short of anything. She was very grateful for God's care, and realized that her life had finally arrived at a sweet ending.
Mother was diagnosed with terminal cancer last year. But miraculously, her symptoms were extremely mild, and she did not experience any pain. She preferred to and continued to live alone, only needing weekly visits and a little help from her children. Mother passed away peacefully at home on February 27, 2023, with her daughter Louisa by her side.
It is painful to part from our mother, but we are reassured that she now has a better home with God. We look forward to reuniting with Mom in Heaven in the future.
懷念我們的母親 : 苦盡甘來的人生
我們親愛的媽媽關吳春鳳女士，中國廣東省開平縣樓崗墟鳳崗里村人。1937年11月17日出生。媽媽是一個勇敢、有同情心、富正義感的人。她一生經歷戰亂、逃難及移民，可謂「先甜後苦，苦盡甘來」。
媽媽在鄉下開平出生並渡過童年。外公為人樸實敦厚，外婆持家有道。家中共有八名子女，媽媽排行第四，兄弟姊妹間感情融洽。媽媽少時家境不俗，所以有機會在墟裡的「育英學校」唸完小學。 媽媽以照顧家人和料理家務為己任。每天下課回家，便下田幹活，幫忙照顧弟妹。幾代過去，媽媽對鄉下的生活仍十分回味，覺得這是一生中最快樂的時光。
1949年，外公安排家人逐批經香港前往加拿大。1953年，十來歲的媽媽一個人離開家鄉，坐了一日一夜的省渡輪到廣州。在廣州待了一年才獲准到香港與家人團聚。媽媽年紀輕輕便要一個人面對困難，培養了日後獨立堅強的性格。
媽媽到香港不久後，聽從父母的安排與爸爸結婚。婚後生活清苦，在深水埗租住板間房，爸爸在工廠工作，媽媽在家中「穿珠仔」幫補家計。爸爸與媽媽共育有兩子兩女 – 德如﹑德健﹑德強和德貞。當媽媽懷着第二個孩子德健時，爸爸有外遇。後來，爸爸不再回家，只每月付家用與媽媽，間中約兒女在外見面。丈夫的不忠和離棄令媽媽大受打擊。在當時仍保守的中國人社會，媽媽覺得丈夫有外遇，自己也蒙羞，所以不敢向外人求助。她惦念孩子需要自己照顧，所以咬著牙撐下去。媽媽生活極其儉樸，平日在家替人縫衣賺點外快，加上爸爸的錢，一家五口的生活總算維持下來。
1981年，媽媽為了讓兒女有更美好的將來，帶同兒女移民加拿大。移民後，媽媽失去了爸爸的經濟支持，她開始在工廠當女工。媽媽一直在一間皮革廠當熨衫女工，每日天還未光便坐公車上班，十多年來風雨無間。媽媽平時愛一邊熨衫，一邊唱聖詩。她工作勤快，為人熱誠，雖然不諳英語，仍深受上司及同事歡迎，眾人都親切地叫她「媽咪」。
媽媽回憶初到加拿大的日子十分難過，丈夫再次離棄自己，又要在一個言語不通和在文化上完全陌生的環境重新開始，她感到難以適應。但為了兒女的前途，她堅持留下來。移民路不易走，幸好有親人和信仰的支持，讓媽媽一步步走過困難。媽媽是一個虔誠的基督徒，恆常讀聖經及到教會聚會。她相信上帝對她的愛和看顧，深信只要凡事倚靠祂，便有力量過每一天。
爸爸後來移居美國，晚年時再度離異。兩次中風後下身癱瘓，要入住護養院。媽媽知道消息後，與兒子德強坐飛機前往探望。闊別廿載，媽媽望着卧床的丈夫臉容憔悴，心裡沒有怨懟，只感難過。期間，爸爸對媽媽說: 「阿鳳，我對你唔住。」媽媽聽到了這句自己等了大半生的說話，眼見爸爸快接近人生盡頭，感到兩人間多年的恩怨也泯滅了。2009 年11月16日，爸爸病逝。
在加拿大生活了四十年，媽媽已全然適應了。她喜歡加拿大生活悠閒，社會福利完善。媽媽也喜歡旅遊，並且有福地能夠在加拿大和世界各地旅遊，從中國大陸、台灣到美國、歐洲、中東和她最喜歡的目的地耶路撒冷（兩次！）都有她的足跡。
回顧一生，媽媽對自己的婚姻，由感到羞恥轉為釋懷 ; 對丈夫，由痛恨變為寬恕 ; 對子女， 她盡心盡力盡責，給與完全無私的愛 ; 對上帝， 媽媽的信心是單纯和堅定的 ; 對金錢，她由擔心變為信靠上帝。媽媽親身經歷到情況無論怎樣改變，自己從未有任何缺欠，令她為上帝的眷顧而充滿感恩，亦感到自己的人生終於苦盡甘來。
媽媽去年被診斷患上末期癌症，卻奇蹟地病徵極度輕微，沒甚麼痛楚，依舊能獨自生活，只需要子女的探望和些微協助。媽媽在2023年2月27日，安祥地在女兒德如倍伴下在家中離世。
我們對媽媽依依不捨， 但深知道她現在是與上帝一起在那更美的家鄉。我們期待將來在天家與媽媽重聚。
