Paul Chan (son)
Entered
May 31, 2022
from Australia
Good morning everyone,
First of all, I want to express my heartfelt thanks for your coming and to those who are watching our mother’s funeral service via the link. It’s a great honor to our family to have all of you joining us to pay last respects to our mom. Your presence reminds me of one of mother’s sayings. She often said that, in this world, the most difficult debt to pay is the debt repaying someone who had offered you help when you were in need. I understand this morning how hard it will be to repay all of you for coming today. The single word ‘thanks’ is not enough to express our gratitude for your kindness and support.
I remember once going to the funeral service of a friend’s parent in order to pay my last respects. In the centre of the hall, there was a four-letter word hanging on the wall and two seven-word banners accompanying the central hanging on either side. The four- letter word meant that the parent’s contributions to the family had not been repaid enough by the children. Today, I am deeply moved as I remember that banner and understand the meaning behind those words in a new way. Mom, we did not repay you enough. One of the two seven- word banners said: ‘Trees long for peace but the winds will never cease’. The other one stated that children would like to repay their parents, but only seem to do it after the parents have gone. It’s better for us to express gratitude to our parents when they are alive. If we do not do it now, we may not have the chance to do so in the future. Regret is not healthy or helpful. Serving our parents while they are alive is better than feeling regret later. We will not be given a second chance.
I am proud of my mother. She was born on the 12th of December 1925 in Hong Kong. She raised eight children (four sons and four daughters). Her life was lived with skill, strength, determination and courage. Although she did not have a chance to receive formal education, she was our wise guide and loving organizer. On the one hand, she took care of the family affairs, especially raising the children. On the other hand, she played an active role in assisting with my father’s business, a cooked food stall operation.
Unfortunately, my father passed away in 1979, at the age of 59, leaving the responsibility of both family and business to my mother. At that time, my sisters and I were still studying at school. But my mother was a very strong woman. With the help of our elder brothers, she managed through the hardships. Without the work of our mother, we would not have had the chance to finish our education and successfully go on to have our own families.
In 1992, accompanied by my youngest sister, she migrated to Canada. She lived with her two youngest daughters in Toronto. On 26th of June, 2005, my mother was baptized in Cornerstone Alliance Church. With passage of time, my mother’s health declined. In 2010, she began living in Yee Hong Centre for Geriatric Care. She became increasingly frailer, and passed away in the morning on 17th of May 2022, at the age of 96. She is now resting in peace with God.
I would like to share another of my mother’s sayings. ‘Whenever you have something to eat, you must share with others. You should not keep it just for yourself. Life is full of ‘give and take’ and sharing is the greatest joy.’ I have remembered her words over the years, and thanks to her wisdom and example, I have, hopefully, been able to share what I have with others, especially my students.
Now I am going to recall an incident where I regretted not expressing gratitude on the spot. In 2018, I visited my mother at Yee Hong Centre for Geriatric Care, with my wife, my sisters and my brother-in-law. Mother said I was the one she loved the most. My youngest sister frowned and asked my mother if she had Alzheimer’s. My sister had taken care of mom ever since she lived at the centre. She had never heard any words like that from mother before. I could feel the green eye from my sisters, and I should have replied-’You are our greatest love of all, Mom’.
Before I end my speech, I want to salute my two sisters. Both of them worked very hard to serve mom and it was they who lovingly accompanied our mother through the final stages of her life. Without their industrious work, mom would not have so comfortably enjoyed her time here.
Please know, all of you here, and those who have joined via the link, that our family appreciates the support you have shown us. Your kindness and understanding lessen our sorrow and give us courage.Thank you.
