爸爸的家庭
我爸的父亲在他3岁时去世了。他的母亲靠为别人缝衣服把他抚养长大。 我妈妈郑丽眉1938年出生于同一个城市。我姥姥是非常有爱心的家庭主妇，有一儿四女。
我爸是个责任心很强的人。高中毕业后，我爸爸被北京邮电学院录取。57 年大学毕业后，我爸成绩优秀，被留校当助教。转正后月薪52元。那时我姥爷去世。我爸爸就担起抚养姥姥家庭的义务。每月寄给我姥姥35元。自已还要买书。伙食费所剩无几。后来文革期间又被批斗，自杀未遂，后来很快就得了肝炎。
当时他大肚腹水，全身黄。北京各大医院都无法医治。医生叫我母亲回家料理后事。学校这才同意他回老家治病。不给工资，只给生活费。我祖父是龙岩的名医。用中药把他死马当活马医。活过来以后，在龙岩打鸟，钓鱼，做扬琴，拉二胡，慢慢恢复了身体。
他又回到北邮，在无线电系专心搞技术。有一段时间在搞锁相环的项目，干到深夜，校门关了，他就翻墙回家。他干起工作是全然投入的。
1984 年，他被派去了美国，在实验室里一天24小时运行程序。他认识了一个想来中国的犹太朋友Michael Goldman，两人互学语言，英文提高很快。导师决定邀请他留下来读博士学位，他因是工派，就拒绝了导师的邀请，没有读博士学位。但这也成了他的一个终生遗憾。
回国后，他在光纤技术的研究上很有突破，被提升为副教授。他给大学生讲的课深入浅出，非常注重在基本功上打地基，从而在用非常复杂的数学公式来推导像森林一类随风变化的非线性电磁场时，也是游刃有余。很快，又被提升为最年轻的教授。
1987 年，他又来到加拿大温哥华Simon Fraser University深造。由于1989年的天安们事件，加拿大政府为加拿大的中国学者办了移民。1990年10月1日，我妈妈，妹妹连茜蕾，来到温哥华和父亲相聚。在这里，我认识了在SFU读研的Cameron。他就是我未来的丈夫。不幸的是，1991年10月1日，我妹妹茜蕾被摩托车夺去生命。摩托车手也跳湖自尽。从此家里的一切平衡被打破，全家每日沉浚在痛苦之中，最后父母离异。母亲始终没有从悲痛中走出来。最后得了肺癌，2010年与世长辞。父亲找到亲的婚姻，与Rorna结合。身体一天好似一天。
父亲和Rorna的结合延申了我们这个磨难的家庭。这个新家真有点量子纠缠的味道。我的新妹妹兰兰的女儿Misty和我母亲的生日一样。我儿子Ryan和Rorna的生日差一天。兰兰的丈夫Anders 和Cameron 都是工程师。几乎每年夏天，我和兰兰的家都到多伦多汇合，三个家庭合为一体。
My Father's Family
My father's father passed away when he was three years old. His mother raised him by sewing clothes for others. My mother, Zheng Limei, was born in the same city in 1938. My grandmother was a very loving housewife with one son and four daughters.
My father is a very responsible person. After graduating from high school, he was admitted to Beijing University of Posts and Telecommunications. After graduating in 1957, he was retained as a teaching assistant due to his excellent grades. After becoming a regular employee, his monthly salary was 52 yuan. At that time, my grandfather passed away, and my father took on the responsibility of supporting my grandmother's family, sending her 35 yuan every month. He had little left for himself after buying books. Had very little to eat daily. During the Cultural Revolution, he was denounced and attempted suicide but survived, only to soon contract hepatitis.
At that time, he had severe ascites, jaundice. Major hospitals in Beijing couldn't treat him, and doctors told my mother to prepare for his funeral. The BUPT finally allowed him to return to his hometown for treatment, providing only living expenses, not a salary. My grandfather, a renowned doctor in Longyan, treated him with traditional Chinese medicine, and he gradually recovered. He spent his time in Longyan hunting, fishing, making dulcimer, and the chinese violin, slowly regaining his health.
He returned to Beijing University of Posts and Telecommunications, focusing on technology in the Radio Department. He worked on a phase-locked loop project, often working late into the night. When the university’s gate was closed, he would climb over the wall to get home. He was fully dedicated to his work.
In 1984, he was sent to the United States, where he ran programs in the lab 24 hours a day. He met a Jewish friend, Michael Goldman, who wanted to come to China. They taught each other their languages, and his English improved rapidly. His mentor invited him to stay for a Ph.D. program, but he declined due to his work obligations, a decision he regretted for life.
After returning to China, he made significant breakthroughs in fiber optic technology and was promoted to associate professor. His lectures were clear and thorough, emphasizing foundational skills, making it easy for him to derive complex mathematical formulas for nonlinear electromagnetic fields like forests swaying in the wind. He was soon promoted to the youngest professor.
In 1987, he went to Simon Fraser University in Vancouver, Canada, for further studies. Due to the Tiananmen incident in 1989, the Canadian government offered immigration to Chinese scholars. On October 1, 1990, my mother and sister, Qianlei, joined my father in Vancouver. There, I met Cameron Alakija, a graduate student at SFU, who would become my future husband. Unfortunately, on October 1, 1991, my sister Qianlei was killed in a motorcycle accident while she was walking across a street. The motorcyclist also drowned himself in a lake. This tragedy shattered our family's balance, plunging us into daily sorrow, eventually leading to my parents' divorce. My mother never recovered from her grief and passed away from lung cancer in 2010. My father found a new marriage with Rorna, and his health improved day by day.
My father's marriage to Rorna extended our troubled family. This new family has a bit of a quantum entanglement feel. My new sister Lanlan's daughter, Misty, shares the same birthday as my mother.
My son, Ryan, and Rorna's birthdays are one day apart. Lanlan's husband, Anders, and Cameron are both engineers. Almost every summer, our families gathered in Toronto, merging into one big family.
爸爸对我一生的影响
我爸爸从美国深造回国后，学到了一个非常可贵的文化。就是父母对待儿女像朋友一样。他开始努力改变自己家长制的作风。
在工程事业上，他象是我的锁相环。不论我跑到什么频率，他总是用他巨大的带宽把我锁回他的中心频率。在我的事业中始终给我鼓励。让我专心致志地在工程事业上奋进。
爸爸和Rorna 在Ryan 出生前后，来圣地亚哥小住，并去迪斯尼乐园，维加斯结伴游玩。我这时才惊讶地发现我和爸爸的优缺点都是那么相同。每次我犯了一个错误，和爸爸分享时，他就说：“这不能怪你，这要怪你爸爸，你爸爸也这样。”
2018年，我因做工程压力很大，免疫力低下。每次回国没有不病着回来的。我爸就建议我吃美安产品。我受益后就开始创业。他开始不同意，怕我压力太大。后来有人给我泼冷水，说就凭我这能力，能搞定一项就很不错了。还是好好搞我的工作吧。我爸这时说：“她看到的是你中学时的能力，她不知道你现在能力提高了有多少。” 我爸就是这样不断地给我鼓励。永远帮我拨开乌云，让我看到云上的太阳。
2023年4月7日，我爸爸受了洗，读起圣经来如饥似渴。很快在万锦纯福音教会担起领经的职责。他说，他一生的心血，和圣经比起来，简直一不足道。
爸爸，你放心地去吧，但我们会把前头的路走得更璀璨。
My Father's Influence on My Life
After returning from the United States, my father was inspired by American culture that parents treat their children like friends. He began to work hard to change his authoritarian parenting style.
In my engineering career, he was like my phase-locked loop. No matter what frequency I drifted to, he always used his vast bandwidth to lock me back to his central frequency. He constantly encouraged me in my career, allowing me to focus and strive in the engineering field.
Before and after Ryan was born, my father and Rorna came to stay with us in San Diego, and we visited Disneyland and Las Vegas together. It was then that I was surprised to find how similar my father's strengths and weaknesses were to mine. Whenever I made a mistake and shared it with him, he would say, "Don’t blame yourself; blame your father, because he was the same."
In 2018, due to the high pressure of my engineering work, my immune system was weakened. Every time I returned to China, I would come back sick. My father suggested I take Market America products. After benefiting from them, I started my own business. Initially, he disagreed, fearing I would be under too much pressure. Later, someone tried to discourage me, saying that with my abilities, it would be impressive if I could handle just one thing well and that I should focus on my job only. My father then said,
"She sees your abilities from high school; she doesn't know how much you've improved now." My father constantly encouraged me, always helping me see the sun above the clouds.
On April 7, 2023, my father was baptized and began reading the Bible with great passion. Soon, he took on the responsibility of leading Bible studies at the Markham Full Gospel Church. He said that compared to the Bible, all his life's efforts seemed insignificant.
Dad, rest assured, we will continue to walk the path ahead even more brilliantly.
