Mom was born on April 11, 1948 in Selo Odri, Jugoslavija. The communists had recently changed the name of the country which was, at the birth of my father, the "Kingdom of Serbs, Croats and Slovenes". She was born to father Stevan Stefanovich and mother, Danica (Ilic) Stefanovich. She had one brother Zivko and one sister Katica.
While growing up, she attended school in a neighbouring village called Vratnica. Vratnica was the village where most the kids in the surrounding villages attended school. Kids from Odri, Beloviste, Vratnica, Rogacevo and Staro Selo all attended school in Vratnica. During her time away from school she was responsible for helping around her small village home but also by taking their farm animals out to pasture. As a young child, she was very gregarious and wasn't afraid to find trouble. She loved to ride (or maybe better said... "race") her family's horses. Years later Dedo Stevan would confide in me that she run a few horses to near death she loved racing them so hard.
She would tell you that she was a good student, but certainly not the best student but she also earned the reputation early as a "strong Serbian woman". She often spoke of a boy in school that she liked to beat up if he ever got out of line. His name was "Rasko". Rasko and his best friend Vlado, always knew that Dragica was a handful and Dragica would have no idea of the connection she would later have to Rasko and Vlado. She also had no idea that while she was in school in Vratnica, there was also another boy attending, 8 years her senior from a well known family called the "Jankuloj" who would one day play the most important role in her life.
In 1966, "Dedo Stevan" decided to flee the communists and looked to make a better life for his family. As with many immigrants, he went where the jobs were and he found great potential in a City called "Detroit" in the United States.
This was a wonderous place of opportunity, where immigrants might have a chance to work for one of the big three automakers. Unfortunately, around this time, the USA was having some political upheaval and Dragica witnessed the Detroit Riots of 1967. She recalled many stories to me about how scary a time it was and how she desired to leave Detroit.
Lucky for her, she met Zivko "John" Ristich at a wedding in Detroit. Zivko was as unique a man as she had ever met. He spoke nearly perfect English (where she spoke almost none), he was a highly educated Engineer, having graduated from the most prestigious Engineering school in Canada (University of Toronto). He was hard working, smart, good looking and most importantly; looking for a "good Serbian woman".
Within months, the couple would marry and within 5 years, they had their eldest daughter, Slavica, their middle daughter Suzana and their son, Slavko. At first, as a result of necessity, they all lived in one home, a family of 16. Dedo Simo, Baba Rusa, Savo, Ilinka, Pero, Vlado, Dragica, Risto, Mileva, Rajko, Jovanka, Zivko, Dragica, Slavica, Suzana and Slavko all lived in one small house on Indian Mound in Scarborough.
Trust me when I tell you, learning to live in one house with 4 Jankuloj men (Dedo Simo, Adjo Savo, Adjo Lado and my Dad) is worthy of a nobel prize. Yet, she was the one who brought a warmth and kindness that was foreign to them.
Within 8 months of the birth of their son, Zivko and Dragica moved their family down the road and settled at 1 Calument Cres. in Scarborough where they would live happily until 1982. They would move to their current home thereafter where the family lived and Zivko still lives.
Her eldest daughter Slavica would later marry, the first ever "Newfie-Serb", Rod Rowe, or as they like to call him in Church, "Radovan". She became a grandmother for the first time when Renee "Dragica" Rowe was born in 2000. Her second granchild was a boy (and did Baba Draga ever covet boys). Lucas was born in 2001.
A few years would pass Mom would have to answer for some of her earlier childhood behaviour. You see, unbeknownst to Mom, I decided I was going to follow my father's footsteps and find a girl from Detroit. I had met this really tall and gorgeous blonde in Michigan (Silvia) and I instantly knew she was the one. I let Mom and Dad know.
Mom was ecstatic and eventually she got to meet Silvia's parents, Vlado and Lepa. Mom also got to meet Silvia's very close family friend "Striko Rasko". Yup, same Rasko that Mom use to beat up in grade school and same Vlado that was his friend all those years ago!!! This just proves that God has a sense of humour.
Slavko and Silvia would make "Babi" a grandmother two more times with their children Dejan and Maja.
When Dejan was born, he was a spitting image of me and if anyone knows about Mom's relationship with me, that is all you will ever need to know about what she thinks about her "Dejo". You can just see, that when she looks at him, she sees me from all those years ago when I was her "baby boy".
Similarly, as Maja got older, everywhere "Babi" went with Maja, people would tell her they looked like twins. This always made Mom's heart flutter.
I think we can very safely say that of all the titles people gave Mom during her life, the one she covetted the most was "Baba". She loved every moment of her grand kids and no matter how far they may have stepped out of line, they were always the essence of perfection to her.
As the years passed, the time period after 2010, started to get tough on Mom because her parents were aging and they were still living in Detroit. She would drive to Michigan monthly and often even more. Most times with Dad, but even alone if he could not make it for whatever reason. She was the most devoted daughter a parent could ever desire. She fulfilled every promise to her parents, she took them all across the world on vacations and made sure they never wanted for anything. She sent them both to heaven on golden wings, through her love, care and compassion. I know that as she enters the Kingdom of Heaven, that all four of my grandparents, my Adjo Lado, my Nona Dragica, my beloved cousin Mimi are waiting for her with open arms.
Even while she was travelling to and from Detroit in the tough times, she never let her committment to her husband, three kids and four grand kids ever slip even for a moment. She attended her Church, St. Arsenije Sremac every Sunday, assisted by every means possible to ensure the Church thrived. Mom and Dad have been two of the Church's biggest benefactors through the course of their entire lives. Mom helped any friend in need in every way she could. There was a great beauty about Mom, if you were her friend, she would walk to the ends of the world for you, but if you weren't you always knew where you stood. She didn't believe in gossip and if she thought you weren't being direct with her she would tell you, "stop beating around the bush, just say what you have to say".
When Mom was first diagnosed with this terrible disease, she wasn't afraid of it and she wasn't afraid of passing on, but she didn't want to leave her family. For Mom, it's always been about the family. To have known her, would be to know how she was so devoted to her family. She lived to care for her family in every way she knew how. When my Uncle and Aunt passed far too young, she viewed my cousins (from my Dad's side) as no different than her own children. She loved, Ricky, Mimi, Botso and Jojo was if they were her own and my cousins reciprocated that love to her.
She may have been the most reliable person to have ever walked this earth. If you needed her, you could rely on her. When a family member was ill, she was the first to help. When the Church needed a volunteer to work tirelessly in their kitchen, cleaning the Church, baking goods or selling goods at a garage sale, Mom was first. When her friends were in need, they called her first and she never said no.
When her kids needed help with their own children she was the first to help. She taught her daughters to be strong, self sufficient and independent women. She taught one of her daughters to never let anyone knock you down, and now that daughter has risen to be a prominent director in the government. Her other daughter learned from watching Mom and Dad as a dynamic business couple to start their own meat company and as time has passed, they are slowly on their way to running the world.
And then there is me, her son. She knew I was one of the heirs to "Jankuloj Family" name and she knew that meant something. The Jankuloj had always been a large and successful family but Simo, brought the family to the next level when he moved to Canada. His insight into people and business was just something to behold. Mom had gained a lot of wisdom sitting and talking at the table with my Dedo, while she would be making him "tursko kafa". She knew Dedo Simo had a great belief in me, his youngest grandchild and she wanted to make sure that dream was realized.
She had to teach me to balance the toughness and business saavy of the Jankuloj with a softer and sweeter approach. To learn to have her level of care and compassion, with the shrewd business acumen of her, my father and my grandfather. If I ever slipped, she was right there to correct me and provide me with guidance at all times.
I remember one time I met her on a Sunday at Church. I showed up in a suit and button down dress shirt, but no tie. She looked at me and i knew something was wrong. The liturgy ended, and this is how our conversation went, she said...
"When you go to Court, do you stand before the Judge without a tie?" I responded, "no, in some way shape or form I will be wearing a tie or tabs". She paused, reflected and said softly, "So, when you are in Church, you are standing before God and if it's important enough to wear a tie before a Judge, how about you wear one before God?"
That was the last time I attended liturgy without a tie!
Even now, at 51 years old, I'm not sure I'm prepared for a life without her but her story should be known and should be told. I will miss her more than words can say. I will miss those special moments when I would tease her about something or intentionally say something really inappropriate to gauge her reaction. I will miss when she would still explain the law to me, even though I was the lawyer. I will miss the way she looked at my kids the same way she looked at me when I was their age. I will miss her laugh, her smile and how much joy she took from her family.
Before she passed, our entire famiy got to witness her do some miraculous things as she lay in the hospital. We all got to tell her how much we loved her and she knew it, but our hearts will ache for all eternity. She was so loved and will be so dearly missed. She was truly the glue that kept our family so strong.
This is just but a part of her story, through my lens.
