Eulogy - Floyd Graham
I would like to start by thanking each and everyone of you for taking the time (either here at the chapel or those who are able to access the service on your mobile devices), to be with us in marking the laying to rest of my beloved brother Clement.
I know I speak for our entire family and his partner Bernadette, when I say that we have been comforted by all the messages of love and support that we have received. Love has brought us here today and grief, grief is the price that we ultimately pay for love. Love binds us together and grief, also binds us together. They are 2 sides of the same coin!
Some of my earliest memories are of Clement, vivid, powerful memories kept alive by the endless reminiscences between us every time we spoke. As children we travelled from our birth country to Jamaica. Where our first school was Denbeigh Primary, as new kids we attracted the interest of other boys who were relentless in taunting us largely due to our English accents which resulted in hoots of hysterical laughter every time we so much as uttered a single syllable.
Unsurprisingly, it did not take long for us to grow tired of being the focus of attention. On one such day I punched quite forcefully another boy and then got set upon by what felt like the entire population of boys in the school. Clement did not hesitate to join the fracas and together we not only withstood the onslaught we overcame it. That was the point at which I realised that Clement was my Super-power, and I was his.
Those who knew Clement will know that he was fiercely competitive. Although I can scarcely believe it now Clement and I used to cycle from our home in Clarendon Park to Glenmuir High school, a distance of some 11 miles and back home again each day. Generally, this was a race which I never won. One day we set out for Glenmuir and by the time I got to Toll Gate Clement had disappeared into the distance. Ever the resourceful one, I took a minibus with my bike. I was confident that this was one day that Clement would not arrive at school before me, and I was eager to see his face when he got to the gates of the school and found me waiting! Unfortunately for me, Clement spotted me and my bike on that minibus and set off after it with the determination of a wild animal chasing its prey. Although he did not beat me that day by the time I got off the bus at the bottom of Glenmuir Road, Clement had arrived laughing uncontrollably at having foiled my cunning plan. Much to my annoyance Clement recounted this story to others continuously for 45 years!!
Although living in different countries for the past 40 years, Clement and I spoke often and effortlessly for hours at a time. We spoke of hopes, dreams challenges, shared memories, love, family and friends. BUT we never spoke about this day! I ask our heavenly father my ultimate superpower for the courage and strength to get through this day.
Many of you who knew Clement before he left Jamaica in the late 70s will recall his infamous driving reputation.
I can only describe the experience of getting into a car being driven by Clement or a motorcycle being ridden by him as comparable to unwittingly taking an overdose of laxatives immediately followed by being thrown headfirst of a 10-storey building. Its fair to say that if you didn’t believe in God when you got into Clement’s car, you certainly were a believer by the time you got out!
Luckily for me I was spared those experiences as I would generally be beside him in a competing car!
He had a gift and he was consumed by that gift, a passion that lasted for all of his life. His other passions were Snooker and Table tennis at which he excelled.
This life, our lives often gets driven by events outside our control. Clem had a single minded determination to live his to the fullest extent possible and did so until illness so cruelly robbed him of it.
His sense of fun, mischief knew no bounds. His kindness knew no bounds. Gifted with an infectious laughter and beguiling smile and uncomplicated sincerity he found it easy to make friends and retained childhood friendships until the day of his passing ( Gordon Spence ”Amber”, Luke Tucker , Althea Macfarlane and Marston Gordon to name but a few that he would always talk about whenever we spoke.
Love for his parents, love for his brothers and sisters. Clement loved every single member of his family without boundaries. He was devoted to his parents and his mother in particular. It is not the natural order of things for parents to bury their children. But I would say to our mother and father this, clement loved both of you with a love that cannot be altered by time of death. If he could he would have been with you for all eternity.
To his brothers including me Clement had a strong sense of hierarchy. He was big brother and he never let us forget it. He was always on hand with advice whether you wanted it or not. I know in my heart that my brothers and I will not let our brother’s memory diminish as we together with his nephews and nieces will always keep his memory and ultimate folklore alive. He will always be our big brother in every sense of the words.
I have always thought that there are people who feel love but often can’t demonstrate those feeling and there are those who can do both. Our generation often found it difficult to demonstrate love but that does not render the love any less potent.
I would like to take this time to make special mention of Daniel and Felicia, Clements son and daughter of whom he was most proud. You have my assurance that I and the rest of your family will continue to do all we can to surround you with love and affection. We cannot replace your father but we can help to remember all the fond memories of your father that each and everyone of us have.
Clem took the time to know each and every one of his nieces and Nephews. He sent me photographs of Kay-Anns calling to the Legal Bar as a Barrister. His arms around her as he beamed with pride. He had a special bond with my own daughter Ellie. He gave her her first piano at 3 years old. And when he would visit us in England would vocally take credit for the fact that she had become a Grade 8 pianist of concert standard. Clement and I shared a vision that the next generation of our family would form an enduring network of love and support and look after each other, take care of each other no matter where in the world they may be.
I watched with awe and admiration at the total and selfless devotion of his partner Bernadette as she tended to his needs throughout his illness. Theirs was truly a bond that transcended the normal boundaries of a relationship.
In the weeks before his passing I was able to sit by his bedside in the hospital in Toronto. I thank God that I was able to hold his hand, hug him, kiss him and tell him that I loved him so much. For the rest of my live be it long or short I will always be grateful to God for that opportunity. It was and will always be an honour and a privilege to have had Clem as a brother.
Finally, thank church for its efforts in making the Jamaican Participation possible.
God bless you all!
