So sad to hear of your mother/mother-in-law's passing. What a glorious and interesting life she must have experienced. My thoughts and prayers are with you and yours. A mother (at any age) is a tough loss to bear. I hope your sadness soon turns to joy with wonderful memories of her
I still can not believe you are not here on earth with us mom -- but I know you are still with me all the time in my thoughts.
Loved Mrs. Lavens faith and humour and wisdom . Truly a rock. Will miss her. Condolences to the family.
Nellie Laven was a family friend who was part of my life from the day I was born. She lived near the Toronto International Airport which made visiting her home extra special. I remember as a kid, standing in her backyard, staring at the sky as the planes travelled so close I was sure I could touch them, if only I was a little bit taller. She and Grandpa Laven (and their sons) ran a landscaping company from their house and I used to love sneaking to their basement offices to peek at the big drafting tables.
Every summer, Nellie threw a garden party with music, rose bushes, a fire pit and Dutch food. With all the merriment, there was little supervision of the children, which is why those parties will always be intertwined with memories of me throwing up after eating an entire serving platter of smoked Gouda.
Christmas dinners were magical at the Lavens. The entire living room was emptied out to make room for a giant tree (under which were packages of homemade knit sweaters), as well as tables and chairs – enough to seat all her children, and grandchildren, and us – her adopted family. Nellie cooked everything (most of which she had grown herself) and provided us all with soup and turkey and stuffing and pie without even breaking a sweat.
When my father had a heart attack, my mother brought me to the Lavens in the middle of the night so she could drive to be with my dad in a London hospital. At no time during the weeks I spent with Grandma and Grandma Laven did they ever let on how close I came to losing my dad. Instead, I hung out with Grandma at her church meetings (where there were always cookies), and Grandpa in his landscaping truck, travelling to job sites while eating fast food (“but don’t tell your grandmother”).
I also spent a lot of time at the mall with Nellie, and later found out that every time my mom updated her with bad news about my dad, she took me to the store where she bought be pajamas, Garfield comic book and figurines, of which I still have a box full.
Nellie’s house was full of trinkets from faraway places. My parents would shoosh me whenever I asked to take something home. But Grandma Laven always smiled and said, “Of course dear.”
Grandma Laven spent her life serving others. She once told me that we are all born with maxed-out credit cards and we need to work hard to pay off our debts. To her, living was about doing as much good as possible before being called to Heaven by God. She was a deeply religious woman who volunteered for Telecare, answering phones and talking people down from dark places. And after her husband died, she opened up her home as a B&B for people who were recovering from corrective surgery after accidents.
She was larger than life and, like her mother before her, aimed to reach 100 years old.
The day before she died, I held the small leather camel she let me take home with me when I was a kid – a souvenir she and Grandpa Laven had picked up on a trip to Egypt. I spent the last 11 years playing online Scrabble with Nellie (my mom encouraged her to join Facebook when she turned 90), and when she hadn’t made a move in more than a week, I knew an era was ending. When we visited with her last fall, a month before her 100th birthday, as sharp as she still was, I knew it was likely the last time I would see her.
She died peacefully on August 12 and if her credit card theory was correct, then she will certainly have earned her place in Heaven, 100 times over.
Farewell Nellie Laven. Thank you for being my grandmother.