In memory of

Nellie Catharina Laven

December 12, 1919 -  August 12, 2020

A person's character is shaped in large part when they are young. Many factors contribute. Just three are family values, medical issues, and world politics. This was true for Nellie Laven as for us all.

Nellie was born in 1919, in the Netherlands, not long after WWI. Apropos today's COVID, a second, more serious wave of Spanish Flu was then cutting through the Netherlands "like a scythe" -- as it was described back then. Shortly after, events which led up to WWII -- and then the War itself -- consumed daily life. Eventually, in the early 1950s, with the long shadow of Communism looming, the challenge of emigration to Canada was the best option for Nellie and her beloved husband Peter.

As new Canadians they demonstrated that success is possible for those who are self-sufficient, tenacious, hard-working, devout, honest, and striving to fulfil useful goals with family, friends, and community. Many times the war generation had learned the value of working cooperatively with those around them. Certainly, this described Nellie Laven.

For example, for most of her life Nellie kept a prosperous garden and was generous with its bounty. Some of her agrarian knowledge is even hard to come by nowadays. Also, she was well-known for giving time and donations to charity. This was all in addition -- in the early years -- to juggling the rigours of a landscaping business with child-rearing -- six kids. She met it all head on. The six are Aren (Moe Foster), the late Peter (Connie Bell), Keith (Janet Huisjes), John, David (deceased 1980), and Michael (Judith O’Leary).

Throughout, Nellie maintained that God has a plan for us all -- and to the best of her ability for over one hundred years she played her important role in His plan. A deeply religious woman, Nellie loved socializing, and we know she is in Heaven now with her husband Peter, and sons David and Peter, and they will be listening and chuckling to the anecdotes we share about them at her funeral.

Nellie will be missed by her beloved grandchildren Laura (Doug), Lynne (Trevor), Casey (Marjorie), Philip (Iris), Kevin (Marina), Daniel (Nicole), Sean, and Brittany. She also leaves behind her dear great grandchildren Timothy, Anthony, Haleigh, Davis, Sadie, Tegan, and Gareth.

Guestbook 

(4 of 4)

Heather phair (Friend of Keith & janet)

Entered August 15, 2020 from Brampton

So sad to hear of your mother/mother-in-law's passing. What a glorious and interesting life she must have experienced. My thoughts and prayers are with you and yours. A mother (at any age) is a tough loss to bear. I hope your sadness soon turns to joy with wonderful memories of her

Michael Laven (son)

Entered August 15, 2020 from Port Hope

I still can not believe you are not here on earth with us mom -- but I know you are still with me all the time in my thoughts.

Bill lise (Long ago employee)

Entered August 16, 2020 from Brantford

Loved Mrs. Lavens faith and humour and wisdom . Truly a rock. Will miss her. Condolences to the family.

Andrea (granddaughter)

Entered August 16, 2020 from New Brunswick

Nellie Laven was a family friend who was part of my life from the day I was born. She lived near the Toronto International Airport which made visiting her home extra special. I remember as a kid, standing in her backyard, staring at the sky as the planes travelled so close I was sure I could touch them, if only I was a little bit taller. She and Grandpa Laven (and their sons) ran a landscaping company from their house and I used to love sneaking to their basement offices to peek at the big drafting tables.

Every summer, Nellie threw a garden party with music, rose bushes, a fire pit and Dutch food. With all the merriment, there was little supervision of the children, which is why those parties will always be intertwined with memories of me throwing up after eating an entire serving platter of smoked Gouda.

Christmas dinners were magical at the Lavens. The entire living room was emptied out to make room for a giant tree (under which were packages of homemade knit sweaters), as well as tables and chairs – enough to seat all her children, and grandchildren, and us – her adopted family. Nellie cooked everything (most of which she had grown herself) and provided us all with soup and turkey and stuffing and pie without even breaking a sweat.

When my father had a heart attack, my mother brought me to the Lavens in the middle of the night so she could drive to be with my dad in a London hospital. At no time during the weeks I spent with Grandma and Grandma Laven did they ever let on how close I came to losing my dad. Instead, I hung out with Grandma at her church meetings (where there were always cookies), and Grandpa in his landscaping truck, travelling to job sites while eating fast food (“but don’t tell your grandmother”).

I also spent a lot of time at the mall with Nellie, and later found out that every time my mom updated her with bad news about my dad, she took me to the store where she bought be pajamas, Garfield comic book and figurines, of which I still have a box full.

Nellie’s house was full of trinkets from faraway places. My parents would shoosh me whenever I asked to take something home. But Grandma Laven always smiled and said, “Of course dear.”

Grandma Laven spent her life serving others. She once told me that we are all born with maxed-out credit cards and we need to work hard to pay off our debts. To her, living was about doing as much good as possible before being called to Heaven by God. She was a deeply religious woman who volunteered for Telecare, answering phones and talking people down from dark places. And after her husband died, she opened up her home as a B&B for people who were recovering from corrective surgery after accidents.

She was larger than life and, like her mother before her, aimed to reach 100 years old.

The day before she died, I held the small leather camel she let me take home with me when I was a kid – a souvenir she and Grandpa Laven had picked up on a trip to Egypt. I spent the last 11 years playing online Scrabble with Nellie (my mom encouraged her to join Facebook when she turned 90), and when she hadn’t made a move in more than a week, I knew an era was ending. When we visited with her last fall, a month before her 100th birthday, as sharp as she still was, I knew it was likely the last time I would see her.

She died peacefully on August 12 and if her credit card theory was correct, then she will certainly have earned her place in Heaven, 100 times over.

Farewell Nellie Laven. Thank you for being my grandmother.

Photos 

(5 of 18)

Keith and his mom, Nellie Laven Three generations! Kevin, Marina, and twins: Anthony and Timothy Great-grandma Nellie always looks the same, but Anthony and Timothy just keep changing
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