Teresa Ramcoomarsingh (Daughter)

Entered October 27, 2018 from Trinidad

A Loving Mother,
A Beautiful Soul,
Rest In Peace my Heart.

Riaz Panchoo (Grandson)

Entered October 28, 2018 from Trinidad and Tobago

Joan (Mumfie), was the best person I knew. I spent my early years at her house. All the memories I have of Mumfie are happy ones, she was very fun loving and caring. She could always make you feel warm inside with just a smile. You could not grow up in Mumfie's house without becoming a football fan, as to this day Mumfie is the biggest football fan I know. Whether it was her making our meals, scolding us for doing something wrong or helping with a problem, she did it all with love. Mumfie played huge part in making all for whom she was responsible, the wonderful people they are today and made us all feel loved and cared for. She was so much more than a Grandmother, she was Mumfie.

Harold de Silva (Son)

Entered October 28, 2018 from Trinidad

A mother who has always been there for her family. She loved soccer and could tell you all who was transferred to other clubs. A hard worker and was a no non sense individual. Loved her children to the bone. We know you are in a good place. Love you mom/ Mumfie. God Bless you.

Shane Adam de Silva (Grandson)

Entered October 28, 2018 from Trinidad

Growing up and being around Mumfie has always felt like being in the presence of love and joy. Every memory a good one. My time with Mumfie was limited since she moved to Canada, but every time she came to visit the joy was noticeably still within her. I will miss her and she will live on in my memories and my heart. Rest in peace Mumfie.

Michelle & Michael Ollivierra (Friend)

Entered October 29, 2018 from North York, Toronto

For the short time we knew Joan her smile was contagious and she had a beautiful personality. It was a pleasure meeting you Joan.
"May Eternal light shine upon you and may you rest in Peace"
Amen.

My mum (know to her family as mumfie) was an active teenager and boasted of her hockey days and hiking to Maracas over the hills with her father (pappa to everyone).

She absolutely loved dancing and music. She lived and breathe it. She played the mandolin and could pick a tune out on the piano by air. She would tell us of her days when mama would play piano on one side of the room and her grandma on the other side of the room on another piano.

She spoke of her brothers and sisters with love and there were lots and lots of stories; both good and bad.

My mum took pride in her appearance and while employed, every Monday had her hair done in a beehive. She kept her nails long and polished and did so to the very last. She was a Very Classy lady.
She made friends easily and maintained contact with everyone. She was like a social butterfly. She liked to keep abreast of technology and bought a laptop and created a Facebook account which she used every day. She would skype her family and friends on a daily basis.

Mumfie was an avid reader – I could open a library with the amount of books remaining in her room. she did the crossword puzzle everyday. If I didn’t pick up the newspaper on a particular day she would be quite upset because she didn’t get to do the puzzle.
She was fanatical about sports, especially soccer and loved watching sports on TV. She would wait until I get home and as soon as I came through that door she would regal me with the scores of sports I had absolutely no interest in (like golf or tennis)
She had beautiful and distinctive handwriting which I admired. She also loved playing games – and taught most of her grandchildren how to play cards. She looked after most of them full-time and was strict with them but also showed them tons of love. “she was there head and head with them”. Another one of her stories was that SHE not daddy taught Harold and Carols how to spin a top, play marbles and fly a kite.

I am very proud of my mum. She was very loving and patient. She did not hold back her opinions and was constantly talking and telling stories; many of which we knew by heart. She always told you the truth even if it wasn't what you wanted to hear. She never uttered curse words. The strongest I ever heard her say was “that son of a. …

Now she is entertaining everyone in heaven with her gifts. Love you Mum

I have lots of memories and stories about my mum.

As far back as I can remember I have had problems with my stomach and health. At the age of 5 I had my appendix removed. But before it was removed I spent a lot of time in pain and mumfie was always there for me. Getting up in the middle of the night and looking after me. One night my pain and vomiting got so bad she bundled me in her car and drove to the doctors house, Once there I vomited all over his living room tiles. He examined me and told mum to take me to the hospital first thing in the morning and they would operate.

Shortly after that I began experiencing stomach troubles again. This would take my mum and me down a six year path of pain, missed school and doctors. The specialists and doctors told her that I was faking and that it was because I didn't want to go to school. But my mum dug her heels in and she believed in me. She never gave up trying to find out my ailment. One morning she took me to the doctor and it was discovered that I needed yet another surgery. But she looked after me and never doubted me through all those years.

Now while all this is going on with me, mum had to work and look after Harold, Carlos, Tessa and my dad's Aunt Augusta whom he left behind. You see my dad left us when I was just over 5 years old and my mum had to single-handedly look after us. Her life as a wife and mother was very hard.

I remember that mum enrolled Tessa and me into ballet. She would rush from work, pick us up, and go to ballet classes. After classes I would beg her to stop and get a chocolate milk. In those days the chocolate milk came in a small bottle. Even though money was tight she would still stop and get me that treat. It made me feel special.

She took us to Maracas beach every Saturday and Sunday without fail. Mum suffered from migraines and if she was sick and said that she couldn't go I would throw a fit and harass her until she got up. As a child I did not realise or understand about my mum's migraine. There were many times when we were at the beach and she would be throwing up. But she did that for us.

She would make sandwiches to encourage my sister Tessa to eat as mum said the sea breeze opened our appetites. Tessa would get a huge kick out of teasing mum. When it was time to go home, mum would come to the edge of the water and shout out that it was time to go home and Tessa would say "quick look the other way. pretend we are not hearing her".

Our home was filled with lots of family activities. Mum got a table tennis board installed in the garage and my brothers and their friends would play there for hours. They also played cowboys, made and flew kites, spun tops and rode bikes and mum was right there with them. Being much younger than my brothers I would watch them mix the paste to attached the spine of the kite to the paper. That was fun. If there was a heavy downpour of rain, I loved watching my brothers take ice cream sticks and put them into the canal to race each other's popsicle sticks. I almost forgot to mention the game of marbles. They would collect the marbles and then have games with their friends. To me this was a strange game, but I got the hang of it eventually.

We had lots of music around us. Mum had her brothers' band the Silver Strings practicing their music in a room above the garage some nights. Mum also played the mandolin and spent time picking out tunes on it. She owned a fair collection of records which I loved to play. Her taste in music was wide and varied so she had calypso, jazz, pop, and ballads. My favorite was Joni James.

Every Sunday morning we went to church and after that we stopped in to see my grandparents. She had fun while visiting them and there would often be a little banter between her and mama regarding which entertainer they liked the best. Mama loved Tom Jones and mum Engelbert Humperdinck. Mama would tease my mum and say "Tom is the boss, Humperdinck is the horse". Mama would play the piano and mum would dance the castian. After we left she would tell us of Mama's attempts at cooking and we would roar with laughter. One time Mama tried to make a cake and put the whole egg (including the shell) into the batter. She was just awful in the kitchen.

Some of my best memories were at Christmas time. The excitement I felt just cannot be described. Mum would pile all of us into her Renault and drive around Port of Spain. She told us that if we didn't sing there would be no ice cream afterwards. After that warning, the boys belted out the tunes. As promised she would stop off at Johnston's Snackette and get us all ice cream cones.

I would give her a list of the gifts I wanted to get. Mostly I would ask for a Barbie or a life size doll but mum's budget was tight so there were not promises.

She would get Papa to call home and pretend he was Santa Claus and I would be screaming for my turn to speak with Santa. Then when I got the phone I could hardly speak but eventually would find my voice and give Santa my list.

Christmas Eve was another memory. I would be so excited. Mum made us go to bed early as Santa wouldn't drop off our presents until we were asleep. I could hear my mum and other family members in the kitchen making cake, baking ham, and making garlic pork. The aromas that filled our home is something that I have never forgotten. To this day Christmas is my favorite time of year but I could never recreate that feeling ever again.

Christmas morning came fast enough and we would be up bright and early to get mum. She came out in her nightie and would start distributing presents. Some from Santa, some from her. She must have been exhausted.

And so my mum dedicated her life to her children and grand children. She gave 100% plus to all of us.

While my memories of Mumfie may be few, I do have a few gems.

Mumfie would usually fly to Trinidad to visit during the July/August holidays. It was during those times most of my memories centre around.

I remember Mumfie would usually be up at the crack of dawn armed with her tea and bread, and maybe a newspaper to complete the crossword. Far earlier than most of us dared to wake. She would sometimes be seated outside, enjoying the sounds of nature slowly awakening as well – the birds calling out to each other, the sun’s rays peeking over the mountains, the slight chill of the morning air.

I always thought she looked peaceful there; teacup in hand and pen tapping at the newspaper as she tried to decipher the hint for the crossword.

My fondest memory of Mumfie revolves around us playing cards.

Whenever my mother – Tessa, one of her daughters – told me Mumfie would be arriving soon, I would immediately run to find the deck of cards we had stashed somewhere in the house. Besides seeing her, it was the highlight of her visit for me.

I can’t remember how exactly it all began. I vaguely recall going to the grocery one day and finding a deck of cards, only for Mumfie – that same evening – to suddenly sit me down at the dining table and teach me how to play. No doubt, the purchasing of the card deck and the impromptu lessons, were all her doing.

From then on, Mumfie – regardless of how she felt at the time, how exhausted or jet-lagged she was – would always oblige my requests for a game of cards. We would cycle through all of them; from romey, to king in the corner, go-fish, flush the well, and blind all-fours.

This lasted hours.

Sometimes, the venue changed. Depending on the time of day we would be playing outside, or dragging a tiny table over and somehow fitting the cards into the small space, or even on the nearest available surface.

These times were always fun.

Simple though it may be, playing cards with Mumfie will always be my most cherished memory of her.

Mum had lots of stories to tell starting from her childhood right up to the time she left us on October 26, 2018. Two things she hated the most was lies and a man raising his hand to hit. I will come to that shortly, but here are a few stories she told me.

HAROLD
Mum always said my older brother Harold was meticulous from very young and never wanted to get his feet dirty. He kept shoes on at all times and would never put a bare foot down on the ground. He also loved school so much that if he was even slightly naughty she would punish him by saying "as punishment you will have to stay home and not go to school". This would make him cry and beg forgiveness. WEIRD

Every Christmas Harold from a very young age was the one who painted and she was proud to say did it better than she ever could. He also was the man of the house and did lots of chores like mowing the lawn and sometimes even cooking.
He was fussy about how he looked and his shirts had to be ironed every morning before going to work. No creases on the collar please.

CARLOS
She said Carlos was the soft-hearted one. At one incident Harold was naughty and she took away his tricycle. When she looked around Carlos was behind a door crying and he told mum "please don't punish Hal. Punish me instead"

Mind you, he was soft-hearted but got into the most trouble and also received a number of spankings from mum.

One time Mum sent Carlos to Church with our cousin Francis. Afternoon came around and Carlos had not returned. She called Aunty Louise to find out where Carlos was as he had not returned from Church. Aunty Louise said "Church? No. They went to afternoon matinee to see a show" Mum was irate. She waited for Carlos to come home and when he did, she told him that she was angry with him, that HE LIED to her, She was thinking up of a punishment and to go straight to his room.

Carlos spent the whole week on tip toes. Treading lightly and making sure to keep a low profile. Then along comes Saturday night. We heard the Bonanza theme song and everyone stampeded to watch the black and white TV. As soon as we all settled down, Mum said "Carlos? Remember when you didn't go to Church last weekend? Go to your room - "oh gosh Mum!! Punish me tomorrow. Pleaseeee" but Mum stood firm.

That was her story but what she didn't know is that Carlos jumped through his bedroom window and sat outside in our gallery to watch his Bonanza:)

TESSA
Tessa was always a force to deal with. And a tough one. I must have been no more than 4 years old, if that much, when my younger sister would show me who was boss.

If I didn't give her what she wanted she would put one small fist at my back the other in the front and bring both those fists together over and over. I ran to Mum crying and telling her that Tessa was hurting and hitting me but she sent me back saying "how could you say that about that small baby". One day she caught her. She didn't punish her but at least she knew how mischievous that "baby" was.

Before we got a TV we had a wall radio. When upbeat music came on the radio that baby would climb onto a chair to reach the radio so she could turn up the volume. Then she would climb down to dance.

She also could NOT be trusted around wine. Our fridge was usually stocked with Charlie's Red Wine. Miss Tessa would go into the fridge and drink out of the bottle. This left a huge tell tale red stain around her mouth. Mum would ask her "Tessa, were you drinking wine from the fridge?" To which she would innocently look up and say "No mummy".

GISELLE & SOLANGE
Harold left his two girls Giselle and Solange for Mum to look after during the day. Mum loved them very much but was also very stern with them.

One story she told me was that once Giselle was old enough to walk home from school, she would stop off and buy a palette (ice cream stick) to bring home for her younger sister Solange. And if Giselle started eating something and Solange cried for it, she would give it to her sister immediately. Mum loved and admired Giselle very much.

Mum said Solange was a determined child and seemed to get away with more things than Giselle could. From very early she knew how to wrap her dad around her finger. One afternoon Harold came to pick up the girls after work. It was well known that he did not allow eating in the back seat. Solange was eating an ice cream and when Giselle tried to take it away so that she could climb into the back, Solange starting crying as if someone was killing her. She was so very tiny but all you could see was her mouth open wide crying and bawling. Harold said "leave her with the ice cream and get in". The crying immediately stopped. No more tears. Well mum and I was so shocked.

RIAZ & MARK
Riaz is my sister's son. He lived with Mum for a while. Riaz has always been someone that made friends easily and Mum had to watch him like a hawk because he was what you would call innocent. His eyes looked at everyone and the world as if he was seeing it for the first time. She loved that Riaz would sit with her to watch TV and soccer.

Can't remember at what age Mark came to live with Mum but let me say about 8 or 9 years old. Mark's mother was not in a position to look after Mark properly at that time so Carlos asked if Mum would let Mark live with them.When he first came to live with Mum his eating habits were not that great. One lunch time Mum shared out food for the children. Mark provided her with an empty bowl but when Mum looked he had thrown the food under the table. Mark got what trinis call "licks".

When 7pm came along, she would clap her hands together and tell Mark and Riaz it was time for bed. Sometimes Riaz would beg her but there was no changing her mind. She would say "no. this is my time now"

Two boys together is trouble! Once Riaz convinced Mark that they should take a few of Papa's chocolates. This caused a confusion and when Mum asked them about it they denied taking the chocolates. Only thing is, Mum grilled Mark and he confessed. Well!! Mum gave Riaz "licks" and while beating him she said "you know why I'm beating you? not cause you took the chocolates, but because you LIED".

MEGHAN
When my daughter Meghan was born Mum came every morning at 9am to give her a bath cause I was too scared to do it. While bathing Meghan she cried out "something wrong with this child. there's a huge indentation in her chest" . I had to explain to Mumfie that it was hereditary from Clifford Francis-Lau.

She would say as Meghan started growing that Meghan is a star and I would have to watch her. I asked what she meant by that and she explained that Meghan liked to dress up and pose and that she would look for the reddest lipstick she could find to put on her lips.

Much more than love~ a mother's sacrifice

Greater than joy~ the sound of baby's cry

Where Angels gather~ heavenly smiles appear

A tender caring woman~ could never be compared


Much better than hope~ warmth of heart from eyes

Where kisses glow~ on nights of moon disguise

An undying mother~ reborn ~ a beautiful rose forever more

Her aroma still reminds me ~ the sweetest memories I adore