Our Father Bozidar Rajkovic, nicknamed ‘Bosko’ by his family and ‘Ray’ by his extended friends, left this world on the evening of January 17th 2021. Bozidar had struggled for 30 years with his health. As a family, we witnessed and experienced his health slowly deteriorate over this time. As a man that projected strength, competence and independence, each medical decline took a bit of each feature. Yet, he survived each time because he was a fighter. He had a warriors will, because he lived by the code of no surrender. My father felt sheer will could keep him alive. However, even with that iron will, his body could not sustain the attrition and pounding anymore.
Hence, on 17 January 2021, we were faced with the sad and dreaded day. For years, our family prepared and made arrangements for such a moment. We forgave our inter-generational disputes, and thanked my father for his sacrifices and his will for a better life. We extended our compassion, empathy and comfort whenever we could, and let him know he was loved. More so, my dad didn’t need to worry anymore and represent the pillar of strength for the family. He could be at ease knowing that his children were ready. Nikolas, Katarina and Daniel also possessed his warriors will, appreciation of dreams, and sense of honour.
As a father, Bozidar challenged us to want more from ourselves and not follow the crowd. Both his strengths and faults taught us key lessons, and imparted many wisdoms. His hammer-like mentality made sure that the hard lessons he learnt in life didn’t fall on deaf ears, and mistakes in the past would not be repeated. Moreover, we learned to appreciate the opportunities he worked hard to secure. I was blessed to have many discussions with him over the years. I let him know we all understood, learned our lessons, and thanked him for the opportunities he gave us. I let him know that the next generation is ready. Every time we finished our discussion, I would make sure he was comfortable. Then kiss him on the head, and tell him we all love him and wished him a good night before I left his room in the nursing home.
This past Sunday, the last day of his life, I entered his room for the final time. Even though he had passed away and his body was lifeless, we had our final discussion. I reminded him we are all okay, and that he should forgive himself for losing his health and how that stopped him from reaching all his goals. He had achieved a lot no less, and certainly all he needed to complete in his one lifetime. It is for future generations to continue the sense of purpose and vision. His dreams did not die with him, but merely transferred onto future generations. He was not alone and will not be forgotten. The time had come for him to be free from the burden of the ill body and the suffering that caused. It was the final goodbye, not just from myself but from everyone that cared and loved him.
Yet, after his death, I encountered and was moved by something in the next days I had not expected: many extended family and friends reaching out to us to grieve and express their condolences. I experienced the extent to which Bozidar was loved by not only by his immediate family, but by so many others. He touched so many people's lives in different wyas. He inspired, he advised, and he consulted. He gave many helping hands, and in a variety of ways. My father's heart was big, and he had a strong sense of justice and injustice. It moved me deeply to hear this week all the stories, when so many reached out to us. We did not expect, and could not prepare, for what many of you expressed. We received very beautiful messages, and the Rajkovic Family love you all for reaching out to us.
In sum, Bozidar was a father that lived by the old code. Often he showed his love toward us in the form of tough love. Looking back, I understand he wanted the best for us all. He wanted to challenge us, and give the best for the family. My father's prolonged illness forced him to abandon his plans and hopes in later decades of his life. This hurt his sense of self as one can imagine, although he never said it. This was likely because he didn't want us to accept that misfortune as an excuse.
We take many lessons from his life. Both what to do, and what not to do. In the end, I believe Bozidar made this a better world through what he gave his family and how he touched the lives of many others. He did achieve his original goals in life. As I told him while he was alive: “you have nothing to worry about anymore, because we have it from here”. Bozidar Rajkovic may you rest in peace!
Daniel P Rajkovic
