"Sometimes I feel my heart fall to vague depths, between words there are such spaces that I can't feel my heart fall between the pregnant pause of all you will not say and all I can not ask now that you are gone"
I was gone for thirteen years and it's time we cannot get back. The last eleven months since being back and the last five months as your caregiver and foremost as your son, I wish I could say it was gentle sailing. It wasn't. I've gone from trying to understand all that went on to accepting that you were who you are. It's made the transition through the grief easier. Truly I had hoped for so much more and feel a little cheated to this day.
The nine days in hospice were my hardest life experience and you know where I've been in periods of my life , so I don't admit that lightly. The time in hospice was healing as much as it was hard. I wouldn't reprise my choice or the time with you to say our goodbyes. I've learnt I am my mother's son. That is, as I reflect, both good and bad. I promise in your memory to do better as a man and partner.
I miss you and our little chats. I truly hope you were proud of me and I will forever carry your memory going forward. Every step forward gets a little easier and helps with the healing.
Love you.
Sandie and I were toddlers together as our parents were friends. We played together in Leith Scotland. Sandie’s mum Joan was a good friend of my mum and dad and visited us in Australia. We last saw Sandie on her last visit to Australia and along with my sister we had a great few weeks. Plenty laughs and such good memories.
Not forgotten. Diana, John and family.
Diana. A missed opportunity as Mum often spoke in such regard about Annie and Walter and both Frances and you. I've taken pleasure reading back through mum's e-mails and posts to know that both Frances and yourself corresponded with her extensively more than most in Mum's life. Do not worry, your secrets are safe as Mum did get new devices and deleted any of the juicy stuff part way through. I would like very much to meet sometime in the future as someone who knows more know than, "Wow. Are they rich mum. They have a swimming pool." Lol
Jeff
My sincerest condolences to you “Jeff” and family members. My thoughts are with you at this very sad time.
My sister you have always, always, been there and remembered me. I am forever grateful to call you my friend.
Jeff
We were so happy to have you in our lives , met you on the Princess Cruise in 2014 . We did keep in touch through thick and thin . We will miss you deeply dear friend , will think of you often , will miss talking on the phone and facebook video calls , that worked much better than skype .R.I.P. no more struggles and pain God Bless We are better for have knowing you and having you in our lives .
Edie and George Bellamy
Edie and George. Again another untapped moment. I have never been on a cruise. Maybe one day I should give it a try in the hopes I might meet some wonderful people like Sandie did in you. Thank you for sharing.
Jeff
Sandie was a wonderful keen Roadtrekker gone too soon. Much enjoyed a Roadtrek visit with Sandie here in Newfoundland and Labrador, a few years back, visiting such places as Petty Harbour and Cape Spear ( most Easterly point in North America). Many later chats about RT travel to America. Sincere condolences to family and friends.
Ken Butler
Newfoundland and Labrador.
Thank you Ken. Scottie lives on with a wonderful couple in Delhi, Ontario. Mum adored her fellow Roadtrek/RV warriors
Jeff
